The young man stepped out into the busy street. He felt the box with the gold chain and monkey pendant to be quite heavy. He could not wait to get back to his room to get a better look at it. He waited impatiently at the bus stop by the side of the road that was just in front of the pawnshop where he had bought it.

While he waited he couldn't but help thinking how happy she would be when he gave it to her, and how she would certainly then be persuaded about his affections. He was now in his late thirties and had never dated or been with a woman before. He was very shy but hid his shyness by being very serious and polite to people.

He thought back on the first time they had met each other. Actually, they had known of each other before for a long time, but never had the occasion to talk together. They had been working together in the same factory for almost seven months. She had been a new line-worker who had been assigned to his section but who was trained by another Malay woman from his section. He would observe her work while on the floor, but had never talked with her before. She was a good worker and had done well in her first probation period.

It was on the bus they both took home in the evenings that they first began to notice one another. Both of them rode the same public bus home instead of the factory bus. She would don her baju kerbaya and her veil, which she always wore on the line, before she left the factory. The first time it happened the bus was getting crowded and there were only a few seats along the middle-isle left open. He had found a seat by the window and she was one of the last to come up on the bus. She did not look at him and he did not even notice her until she sat down next to him. They road together for a few minutes and as the bus would swing around the sharp corners she would lean against his side and thigh. At first he didn't pay attention, but each time she was closer to him, until their whole sides were in continuous contact. She did not look at him and he felt to embarrassed to look at her. Because the bus was crowded and many people were standing in the aisle no one noticed how close together they were. He thought that maybe she was being squeezed from the other side by people standing in the aisle.

After a few minutes he couldn't but help thinking about her, about what she looked like beneath her veil and dress, what her figure was like, the complexion of her skin, the length and cut of her hair. He would glance sidewise at her face. She had an attractive profile and a very smooth but dark complexion. She was on the short and small side, and she almost reminded him of a young school girl.

He knew that a man should not be caught touching a Muslem woman and so felt quite helpless and unnerved by the whole situation. He just sat squeezed against the window of the bus, frozen stiff and ashamed of himself for his uncontrollable thoughts.

After a little while, the bus began to become empty of people again as it was reaching the end of its route, and now she did not squeeze him as she had been doing, but her thigh and leg and side still were in contact with his own side. Then the bus pulled up to another stop and she got up and came down off the bus.

That night he couldn't help but thinking about her and fantasizing of a relationship with her. He didn't even know her name or anything else about her, except that she was a good steady worker.

The bus he had been waiting for in front of the pawnshop almost drove past him because he hadn't been paying attention lost in thought. But at the last moment he stuck his arm out and it stopped short a little ways past him. He ran to get on it and as he stepped up and grabbed the metal handle it began to move off again.

The bus was not too crowded and he found a seat near the back of the bus. He did not have very far to go before he would come down.

He looked out the window and saw the shop houses, the people in the streets, the hawkers and the motorcycles. He had seen the same scenery countless times before, but there was always something about it that he found interesting.

The first time it happened on the bus left him feeling awkward and funny, but he dismissed it and after a couple of days did not think about it anymore. A couple of times she had come up on the bus before him and there was no seat available next to her. But even if there had been he would have been too embarrassed to sit next to her. When he would come up then he would look quickly at her and their eyes would meet. She would have a curious, questioning sort of expression in her eyes and a slight smile upon her lips.

It was the next time when she came up on the bus after him as the first time, and there was a seat available next to him and other seats still open on the bus, that she quickly sat next to him anyway, and when she sat down she sat close to his side so that the thigh of her leg rested against his thigh and the edge of her leg rested against the edge of his. Then his mind began racing and he felt even more embarrassed, as there were no crowds in the aisle to push them close together, but there she was, right next to him again.

Even more than before he tried to imagine what she looked like beneath her veil and her dress. He glanced down without turning his head and tried to see how round her legs were through the contour of her skirt. He looked at her hands and saw that there were no rings on her fingers. Her fingers were long and delicate and smooth and soft.

He looked out of the window and saw the people and the lights in the street. It was beginning to rain and the rain drops splashed against the window, and he could make out the reflection of the window's surface and see her veil and the outline of her face next to his. He was too embarrassed to turn and look the other direction.

No one else seemed to be paying any attention to them, as everyone seemed lost in their own world of thought. Beside the rain and the shifting gears of the bus and the sound of the bell and the honking outside, the bus was absolutely quiet and still inside.

He knew where she always came down now, but when they came up to the stop she didn't get up from her seat and the bus slowly pulled away with her still sitting next to him. She sat next to him that way until he came down a few bus stops later, and as he got up to get off the bus she glanced and him and gave a knowing smile.

When he came down off the bus in the rain he stood and looked at the window where he had been sitting. She had moved over to the window and was looking out at him and she smiled again as the bus pulled away.

He did not know what to do or to think. He did not go directly home, but stopped by the hawker stalls along the way and drank a cup of hot black coffee. The rain was falling steadily now as he was sitting beneath the large umbrella at a little round metal coffee table. No one else was there and the rain gave him an excuse for stopping and thinking about what had just happened.

Did she really like him or was she just teasing him? What should he do? How can a Chinese man have a relationship with a Malay woman? He knew his mother wouldn't like it at all and that his brothers and sisters would all mock him for it. It seemed so impossible that he couldn't believe it and yet just the same something was happening, something wonderful, strange and unimaginable at the same time. How could he even be seen with her that some Malay men or authority would discover them and cause trouble. The entire thing seemed doomed for trouble.

He had never even spoken to a Malay woman before, except those ladies who are always behind the counters when you mail a letter or pay a bill or very briefly in the factory. He would sometimes wonder what they looked like beneath all those clothes and veils, and how hot they must feel, but he never paid serious attention to them. So many young Chinese women and girls dressed so freely and seductively that he never thought of Malay women in the same way.

The rain was coming down harder and he ordered some kueh and another cup of coffee. He was reluctant to hurry home now, not because he was afraid of getting wet, but because he was embarrassed and afraid that someone might figure it out by the way he was acting or the look on his face. He watched a Malay couple sitting at the table next to his. They had two children and he was handsome and she was attractive, but all of them looked like they didn't have much money. He tried to picture himself sitting there. He tried to imagine himself converting to Islam and praying at a mosque. He wondered what it would be like and how hard it would be and whether the other Malay men would accept him or not.

Then he thought about the girl again, about how she felt next to him and her neat smile that seemed to melt every pretence away. He fantasized about what her legs looked like and wondered how long her hair was. He sat there for almost an hour like that until he grew tired and finally made his way home in the rain.

The bus jerked roughly to a stop and he looked out the window and realized he had missed his stop by one and then he got up hurriedly and got down off the bus and started to walk back the other way to make his way back home. He thought again of the golden chain he had bought as a gift for her and wondered whether she would like it. He knew she would, but he wasn't quite sure of it. It was a lot of money to pay but it was the best way he could show to her the seriousness of his intentions. He stepped down to cross a road and a car honked at him from behind and startled him. He stopped short and the car sped around the corner.

He wondered what she would say and do when he gave it to her. It was late afternoon and he decided not to go straight home again. He wanted to think about things a little more and decided to get himself some rice at the stall close by. He crossed the road again and sat at the same table he had sat at that night in the rain. No one else was eating but he didn't mind because he wanted to be alone with his thoughts for a while.

He ordered some nasi lemak and a fried fish and an egg and some vegetables. He was quite hungry. He ordered a cup of black coffee. The fish was stiff on the outside but the flesh was delicate.

After that incident during the rainy night things began to move more rapidly. Now almost every time they got on the bus together she would wait next to him and get up behind him and then sit down next to him if she could, or directly in front or behind him in the same row. But she still didn't look at him or speak to him. When she would sit behind him he felt as if she were staring at him from behind, and when she would sit in front of him he knew that she knew that he was thinking about her. And when she managed to be next to him she always allowed her leg to rest next to his and her shoulder to lean against his arm. One time they were both left standing next to each other in the aisle and she leaned against him with her hip against his thigh. And another time he had gained the aisle seat first and she was left standing next to him and he offered his seat to her with saying anything and she accepted it and smiled and when she sat in it she touched his hand as he held the handle of the seat in front and let is hold the bar next to his hand. By then they were looking at each other more and always smiling to one another. She was always cleanly dressed in pretty flower patterned kerbayas. There was a faint hint of perfume, almost like jasmine, when he was next to her.

It had gone on that way for several months. Whenever she was next to him she would miss her usual stop and ride on next to him until he came down. It got so that one day she pushed upon on the bus before him and he came up on the bus after her. Though there were a lot of seats available, he was left with a decision to sit next to her for the ride or to sit somewhere else. She gave him that questioning glance but she was not smiling at him. He felt awkward and didn't know what to do. But he had no time to think because people where pushing from behind and so he did what he really wanted most to do and sat down next to her. He felt as if everyone on the bus had just taken notice of what he did and were staring at him. But when he looked around he saw that everyone was looking out the window or straight to the front of the bus.

He did not sit with his leg touching hers, and he felt quite uncomfortable where to put his hand. It was then that she shifted a little towards him so that their legs were touching once again and she let her hand rest so that it was touching his leg and his hand. He road the whole way back like that, afraid to move, afraid to look around, and afraid to look at her or say anything to her. She did not make a move when they came to her stop, and he let the bus go one stop further before he himself came down again.

From that day on there was no question that they would wait for one another to go up and sit together on the bus on their way homes, although they still did not talk to one another. The next time after that the girl slipped a note in his hand while they were sitting together. He slipped it into his pocket and hurried home to read what it said. It was written in Malay and read:

The next evening on the bus she did not sit with him but stood in the aisle in front of him. He noticed that she did not come down at her home and when the bus came to his usual stop she gave a knowing glance at him. He did not move, but sat frozen in his seat. He was petrified and excited at the same time. When the bus reached the end of its line, she was waiting by the front door of the bus. He moved toward the rear door. They were the only two left on the bus, beside the driver and the conductress, and he felt ashamed of himself and embarrassed.

When the bus moved off they were both left standing there. He was not familiar with this part of the island and wasn't sure what to do next. She looked at him and then turned and began walking up the road. He waited a moment and then began walking the same way. She was walking pretty fast for her size. She turned up a small dirt lane that lead away from the houses and went toward the hills in back. She walked up over a little ridge and down the other side and he lost sight of her, so he hurried along even faster. When he came down on the other side he was startled to see her standing by a trail by the edge of the wood. Lights from some kind of homes were up the road, but this trail lead into some forest. She then turned and walked up the trail and he, hesitating at first, decided he better not again lose track of her. It was not long before they came to a small open area where a few half-buried boulders stuck up from the ground. He found her sitting on one of these. She had removed her veil and let her hair fall freely about her shoulders. There was only the light of the full moon that was reflected in a small stream of water that ran beneath the boulders, and so he could not make out very well what she looked like without her veil on.

He did not know quite what to do next. He sat quietly down upon a boulder next to her and looked at her silhouette against the moonlight. There was an awkward moment of stillness when neither one spoke or even moved, until at last she asked him what his name was. He told her his name and then asked for her name. Then he asked her "How do you know about this place" and she then told him that she used to play here as a child and that her father's relatives lived just up the road. She told him that she would return and tell her parents that she had worked overtime and so missed the bus to return. He asked her how old she was. "Thirty-seven years-old." My parents are getting worried for me, she said, because I've rejected any proposal or match they've tried to make for me for other boys. But I just don't want it to be like that" she said. Then there was another awkward silence as he was trying to figure out what to say next.

The night was cool as there was a wind up. He was afraid it might rain upon them. Then he began to hear the chirping of crickets and the croaking of a frog. Something moved in the trees overhead. She continued, "I've watched you at the factory and asked the girls about you and I know you are a good and dependable person. I do not know about what your parent's or mine would think or say, I only know that I like you and always think about you.

He too knew that it was wrong, that it would never work, that it would be impossible to get his or her parents together or to go along with it. And yet he was immensely satisfied that someone would take a personal interest in him and like him, and he was intrigued by this mysterious woman whom he hardly knew at all.

They talked that night together for a half-hour. They found out about each other's feelings, tastes, interests. They were so caught up that they had lost track of the time and almost missed the last bus going back to town. They had to cut short their conversation after he glanced at his watch and realized what time it was. They both hurried together back to the main road and waited at a distance apart for the bus.

They walked together until they reached the main road. They made arrangements when and how to meet each other again at the same place the following night.

When they got back on the bus it was the same driver and conductress as before. The conductress looked at them and smiled, and when she took the ticket from the man she kidded him in Chinese about getting married. He felt quite embarrassed and could only manage a polite smile.

They did this for several days in a row, their families thinking that they were doing a lot of extra overtime. They did it every day until a motorcycle drove by while they were walking down the side road together and stopped after it passed them and the driver looked at them both for a while, and then drove on. After that they became frightened and decided to leave off meeting together for a week. From then on they meet like that at least once or twice a week, after finding another way of getting to the same spot without taking the side lane.

They found that they both liked each other even more and wanted to spend more time together. From then on that sat together on the bus without much restraint or embarrassment, even if some older people would occasionally cast a sidewise glance at them if they began talking to each other.

They had found it difficult to arrange a rendezvous together that would preserve the secrecy of their relationship and yet at the same time allow them as much time together as possible. They began going to different movies together on their days off, where they would sit inside the theater next to one another, and if no one was nearby, they would sometimes hold each other's hand during the movie.

They had carried on that way for several months and now he wanted the whole thing to get more serious. That was why he had bought her this necklace. He had been saving most of the pay that was leftover after his makan and the money he gave to his mom to help support the family, and so he didn't mind buying her such a nice gift. He liked her very much, he thought, even loved her, and the necklace would be his way of showing her how much he felt for her.

He had never even kissed her and the most they did while they were together was to hold each other's hands. Both were too shy or embarrassed to do more than that.

He walked home feeling how heavy the box with the gold chain inside was. When he got home his mother was in the back cooking. His younger brothers and sisters were all sitting in the front hall watching a movie on the television. His older brother was out working. His father had died a few years back of a tragic accident. He was walking down the steps of an office building and he slipped off one of the steps and tumbled down to the bottom, breaking his neck. His portrait painted from a photograph from his younger days hung above the hallway entrance, next to photographs of his paternal grandfather and grandmother who were also now deceased.

Since his father's death his mother came to depend upon him and his older brother a great deal. They both held steady jobs and between them they were able to meet the monthly payments and give their mother extra money for food. The mother was now getting older, but she still went out hawking everyday, and woke up early each morning to prepare the food to start selling. His mom had tried to arrange matches for him, sometimes dragging him to her friends' homes to introduce him to an unmarried daughter. But it never worked for him. There never seemed to be the same chemistry or mystery as he felt for the Malay woman.

But he wondered now whether his mom had figured out that he had a girlfriend on the side. She would sometimes tease him about staying out too late or always getting all dressed up just to go out on his days off. But he hesitated bringing the whole subject up and avoided conversation whenever it seemed to be drifting in that direction.

He knew that if his relationship were to continue, he would have to break the news to his family some time or another. He was not sure of when that time would be or how to do it, but he was sure they would not like it at first.

He went straight into his room without saying anything to anybody and latched the door behind him. Then he pulled the box out of his bag and opened it up. The gold chain sat coiled up on the soft white cotton pad. It was glistening in the yellow light of his lamp and he picked it up in his finger and let the pendant dangle in the air. It was so wonderful that she could not help but love it, he thought to himself. The next day he went to work. He had hung the chain around his neck and tucked it beneath his shirt so that no one could see it. He would take it off and give to her when he met her that night.

He didn't see her at work, and was anxious and disappointed. When he waited at the bus stop she wasn't there. It wasn't like her to be absent from work.

The next day was the same thing. It was only on the third day that he saw her again at her usual place on the floor. He waited impatiently at the bus stop for her. She came up to him and smiled. They got on the bus together and then he asked her where she had been. She told him that something had happened in the family and she had to take sick leave for a couple of days. She did not say much else and they waited quietly. He was afraid to ask her if she wanted to rendezvous with him that night, but when she came to her usual stop she got up, smiled to him, and went down from the bus.

He was not able to give her the necklace and his heart fell a little. He didn't know what to think. The next day was the same. While on the bus they exchanged a few words and she managed to put her hand in his without anyone on the bus noticing, which reassured him a little. On the third day she did not come down off the bus and so he stayed on past his stop too. They both came down at the end of the line again and made their way quietly to their secret place.

She started to speak but he cut her short and told her he had something to show her. He unbuttoned his collar and took the chain off from around his neck. Even though it was dark out, the moonlight caught the gold of the chain and the girl could make out that it was a very beautiful and very valuable piece of jewelry. She didn't know what to say as tears came into her eyes and she began crying, holding the necklace to her chest.

He felt confused by her sudden outburst and didn't know what to think of it. Finally he put his arm around her as she sobbed and asked her softly what the matter was. It was then that she told him that her family had somehow found out about them being together and they had punished her and told her she couldn't see him anymore. She was desperate not knowing what to do because she loved him more than any thing and did not want to end it with him in this way. She didn't know how to make her family understand that he was a nice man and would make a good husband.

He sat on the rock stunned, not knowing what to say or think. He listened to the insects and the water trickling. He heard a motorcycle on the main road below. He looked up at the moon and saw that clouds were beginning to form and cover it. He felt very tired by everything and wondered why these things had to be so difficult, so impossible. He became angry as he looked at her bent over in his arm still silently crying.

Her family did not know that she worked in the same factory as he did and came home together on the same bus. She had lied to them about who he was and how they met and they made her promise them that she would not see him anymore.

It meant that they would not be able to see each other on weekends anymore, at least until they resolved this problem with their families. She said that they still hadn't figured out about the overtime and their rendezvous, so that she could still meet with him here once or twice a week.

He wasn't sure quite what to expect when he told his mother the next night that he was in love with a Malay woman. At first she said nothing and there was not expression on her face at all. She just looked at him in a funny sort of way. After a long silence she asked her son who she was and how he had met her and if her parents knew about it. At first he thought she was understanding and might even accept the arrangement. She only told him that he didn't know how hard it would be, but she said nothing else to him and let the whole matter drop without saying anything more that day.

From that moment on his brothers and sisters began treating him strangely. They stopped talking to him and acted like he didn't exist.

A couple of days later he rendezvoused with his girlfriend again and she again had tears in her eyes. She told him that while at work a Chinese woman had come up to her and warned her away from him. She said that some ladies were waiting outside the factory and she went with this woman and there was an old Chinese lady outside who told her to stay away from him, that his mother did not want the arrangement because his son worshipped his ancestors and would not convert to Islam. Then this lady warned her not to have anything more to do with him or else there would be trouble.

She said she was frightened now and felt very sad in her heart. She did not know what to do any more because her own family began to be mean to her and treat her like she didn't belong to them anymore. People in her Kampong began to talk behind her back and tease her when she walked by. She began to cry again as he held her in his arms and they just sat there like two lost children, she sobbing and he with tears in his eyes, feeling very sad and helpless.

Neither of them wanted to leave each others arms that night or separate from each other ever again. They didn't know what to do or where to go for help. His mind raced without stopping. Perhaps they would run away. He could take his money out of his account and they could go and get married and he could find another job somewhere where their families wouldn't bother them and then they could forget about their troubles and live together in the open.

He wondered if she could forsake her religion and her family as well. He knew that even if he converted to Islam his own family would cut him off and her family would not take them in anyway.

There was no moon that night and it was very dark and quiet. He took off the gold chain he had been wearing for her and put it around her neck and made her promise never to take it off again. She promised him and tucked the necklace under her veil.

It was late when he looked at his watch. The last bus would be coming soon and they would have to go back without any answers, not knowing what tomorrow might bring. They didn't want to separate or to go back at all as they hung on to each other.

They walked arm and arm to the bus stop and waited there in silence. They had no plan or purpose anymore. Both of them just felt sad and happy to be in each other's arms. They got on the bus with saying anything and sat in the back together holding hands as the bus rode empty back to town. Neither of them knew where they were going. They did not want to separate and did not come down by their homes. They road the bus all the way down to the central bus station. The shops at the mall were just beginning to close and a lot of people were still milling about inside. No one seemed to notice them as crossed the main road against the traffic walked together up the steps outside.

They walked all the way to the top of the fifth floor and sat on the edge of the fountain looking at the lights of the city below. The traffic was as heavy as always in the road, with honking horns and motorcycles weaving in and out. They looked up to heaven and could see a few faint stars twinkling above.

They must soon separate forever and yet they loved one another more than anything else in life. They hadn't even kissed each other and yet they felt ashamed of their feelings and intimacy.

Suddenly they felt totally alone together in the world--a feeling neither of them had ever had before. They were the last people on earth and the city below them was crowded and empty. No cars moved on the streets below. No lights flashed. Neither of them spoke together, neither of them said a thing to one another. They were afraid to look in each other's eyes for what they might see in them.

They were standing close to the edge. A strong wind had suddenly come up. In each other's arms they lost sense of where they were or what they were doing there. Suddenly he felt very angry and frustrated. He began to hate his family and himself. He began to hate his life and the city that sprawled below him.

No one saw them falling or hit the pavement. It was only the double thud that made a couple of people look around and notice that something very strange had happened. There on the ground were two bodies with arms interlocked fallen. One was that of a young Chinese man who bled from the mouth and nose, and the other was that of a young Malay girl whose veil had come off during the fall. The veil had been caught by the wind and was carried off down into the street where the cars and buses ran over it.

The first policeman on the scene was a detective who had happened to be in the area and heard some cries and people calling for an ambulance. When he got there he moved people back and could see that both the victims were clearly dead. They made an odd looking couple. He bent over the girl to see if she was breathing when he noticed the gold chain she was wearing. Bending over so no one could see, he managed to quickly slip the chain off her neck without anyone noticing and bunch it in his hand and put it into his pocket.

No one knew what happened. Some people thought the boy was trying to rape the girl and they both fell off the top floor by accident. Others conjectured that maybe the boy was trying to push the girl off when he was pulled over also. The next day the newspaper had a small column at the bottom of page 24 that read only "Local couple fallen to their death at...."

Blanket Copyright, Hugh M. Lewis, © 2005. Use of this text governed by fair use policy--permission to make copies of this text is granted for purposes of research and non-profit instruction only.